I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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