we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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