I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
