My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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