he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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