i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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