i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
