I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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