I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
