On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
