I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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