Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
