Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
