the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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