Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The air was thick with penises
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
