I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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