Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
