omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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