i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
