I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
