I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
