Already got asked if we're dating
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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