He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
