new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
