I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
