i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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