Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
