Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize