idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
