first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize