I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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