And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you didnt know i had herpes?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
