So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
