I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
