you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
