Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
