At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize