I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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