I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
