you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
