Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
