he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
