I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
