Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
