whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
