She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I sprained my soul last night
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
