So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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