A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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