Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize