Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize