my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I fill condoms, not promises.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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