So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
