I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
