i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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