another moral hangover. fuck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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