he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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