they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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