i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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