and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
