I'm going to jail i love you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize