Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
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Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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