sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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